Thursday, July 10, 2014

In Which I Rant on Behalf of my Boys

Usually I try to understand that everyone has their own story - their battles alter their perspective of the world - and then sometimes I just think 'oh no you didn't'

So I saw this comment below a pin the other day:

Ladies, if a guy is really good at telling you things that make you feel like Kate Middleton, just know: he did not practice those lines on his sister.

I thought - seriously?? I mean how does a guy win these days? How do my boys get to grow up and met the impossible, judgmental criteria set up by this kind of attitude?

So I'm gonna break it down right here - the reason this comment makes me a little tetchy, 

1. Um... isn't making you feel glamorous, princess-ish, maybe even unattainable, out-of-my-league-ish kind of a nice thing. It's not like he's making you feel like a slab of roast at the local markets. ??? Presumably a 'kate middleton' compliment isn't sleazy, cheapening you or demeaning? I mean she is a powerful, intelligent, beautiful, recognisable person - or am I missing something?

2. If you get aggro with a man for paying you a compliment are you not going to be the same woman complaining on social media that he doesn't appreciate you, make you feel beautiful, admire you, tell you he loves you.....??? if a guy can't give you a compliment in the early days for fear you'll think he's a perv he's certainly not going to magically start once you know he isn't.

3. Lord help me I certainly hope The Atlas didn't practice telling his sisters how much they spun his wheels - um... incest?? I don't think you should be practicing those kinds of 'kate middleton' compliments on family members.... weirdness.

Perhaps one day when my boys crack out a cheesy, sweet, compliment and they get asked who else they've said that to..they might respond with 'no-one, it's something my dad used to say to my mum and I feel about you the way he did about her.'

My point in this rant is this - girls.... please can we cut a guy some slack? It takes courage to offer a sweet and genuine (non sleazy) compliment and even if you aren't interested in him you can at least respond with a little grace and not assume he's a stalker, perv or other.

I like compliments, I believe in compliments and I want to raise boys who can give others genuine praise and admiration without being treated like they are 'grubby boys with a one track mind'. Let's treat everyone with a bit more dignity than that. Girls and boys - let's pay compliments both ways. 

so.... rant off my chest .... that feels better.

love you more than a brave compliment tenderly given and received xxx