Friday, January 31, 2014

10 Resolutions I Plan on Keeping

Now I know all about the usual – eat well exercise more - types that last until about the 3rd of January but these are 10 resolutions I think we all need to make a commitment to this year.


1. Do not sniff underwear – yes I know you do the lion’s share of laundry and the tidy-your-room-by-throwing-all-the-clothes-in-the-laundry-hamper breaks your heart, but it is time to give up and stop sniffing those undies on the floor as you tidy. You will always regret it. Stop. Just wash the darn things.

2. If you must run do it with wet wipes tucked into your bra – at some point you will be caught out. You can thank me later.

3. Write it down as soon as you think about it – you will not remember it 5 minutes time and it will make you mad.

4. Keep your library receipts – it will happen, you will lose one under the couch and you won’t remember until you get a letter from the library. Keep the docket and tick them off – it’s geeky but (I hope) it works.

5. Throw out your threadbare underwear – at some point some family member or friend (probably your Father or Mother in law) will bring in your washing from the line and you will regret your tardiness at underwear maintenance. This also applies to anything with questionable staining – enough said.

6. Drink more water – yawn, yawn I know but if you have a big drink right now you might not be self medicating that dehydration headache this afternoon with dark chocolate and panadol – on second thoughts just keep the cupboard stocked with dark (fair trade) chocolate.

7. Buy a lingerie bag for your washing machine – or just keep cursing and yanking as you try to get your washing out and bra hooks are snagged in everything and making ladders in your stockings. Also I think maybe do up the bra hooks before you wash them…. Is that something I should be doing? I blame my mother for not teaching me these things.

8. Learn your own mobile number – are you not ashamed of having to look this up every time someone asks you? Think of it as brain gym and feel smug later.

9. When you answer the phone and there is a click/dialing noise and silence hang up – in 5 seconds time you will be talking to a tele-marketer, every time. It is not a relative from overseas or first prize in that lottery you never entered. Just hang up.

10. Buy a decent pillow – it continues to surprise me why I sleep on a pillow that is not perfect. Every single night. 

Here’s to a successful 2014 I think these are resolutions we can all manage and none of us will regret. Now grab a glass of water and get into that undi draw.

What's your number one resolution?

Love you more than an avoided tele-marketer call xxx