Tautoko A Mama

Kia ora lovelies,

It's actually not long until December is upon us and Christmas thoughts are no longer just for the 'crazy ones' who've been celebrating since July.

I love Christmas and I must also confess to enjoy presents - both the buying for and the receiving of!

The other day I was thinking this way and I suddenly thought about some of the beautiful mamas doing it solo that I know. As a mama it's quite frequently the case that you know every present under the tree but I think maybe more so for the mamas flying solo (and the papas flying solo).

On Christmas morning (or another morning depending on custody) she's probably not even going to be unwrapping something.

So this Christmas I'm challenging us all - to tautoko a mama.

Tautoko is one of my favourite Maori words (I have the privilege of working in a bi-lingual environment, sadly I'm not bi-lingual though*), it means to uphold, support, advocate for...

By this I mean - think of a great flying solo mama in your word, buy her something, wrap it and deliver for her and tell her to unwrap it on Christmas morning.

Just think of that something under the tree for her, something she doesn't know the contents of, something that says - 'hey I think you're rad, I've noticed you doing a great job, I acknowledge, uplift and support the job you are doing', or even just 'you're a babe'.

It doesn't have to be big - a block of chocolate all to herself, or a beautiful handmade soap can still communicate your tautoko.

It could be something special you've made. A CD that inspires you, a great book, a packet cake mix (there are surely days a solo mama needs one of these).... the options, when wrapped and delivered with love, are endless.

Will you join me?

Please do. Comment below. Take it to your social media communities, your friendship groups, your life.

There are SO many amazing, precious, hard-working, inspiring, loving, totally-ace mamas flying solo out there who need something under their tree to remind them about that.

Let's make Christmas 2016 time to #tautokoamama

* I do speak some Te Reo just no where near as much as I'd love to be able to! :-)

love you more than making a list and checking it twice xxx

Yeah I Made It - High Vis

Hey lovelies,

So my sister and I had an epic op shop haul of fabric a while ago and after we divided the spoils I had this scrap of neon lining fabric. Enter idea for making myself a biking vest.

It's probably a good time to introduce you to Bernice - my new bike. She's a little hardier than in the tyres than Beryl (who was left in Australia, with a new home). Christchurch roads are still a 'little' rough!

The Atlas and the boys bought me these gorgeous panniers for mother's day, and The Atlas fitted the mudguards, back rack and bell. Now I can bike to school in style, and visibility.

To make the vest I eyeballed the shapes and cut them out and then added some reflective stripes that I bought in a set from Spotlight. I also used fold over elastic to bind it that I grabbed from Creative Junk when we were there a while ago.

There are some other makes lined up on my table and 2 weeks until we are back in our house, hellow sewing room - I have missed you!

Here's to riding to work.

love you more than pink reflective stripes xxx

Yeah I Made it 39/52... for the Ladies

Babes,

Our church is participating over the year in an anti trafficking fundraiser for women in Nepal. You can find out more here.

Saturday is a women's breakfast, because you know us ladies we like food and we ain't gonna lie. Tickets are sold for the breakfast with all profits going to the charity but then they also have stuff you can buy on the day like merino infinity scarves and baking on vintage plates, and let's face it baking done by someone else is always more tasty! (or, contains almond essence and glace cherries - blurk! Don't you hate it when that happens??!).

So a non-crafty friend and I whipped up 18 polymer clay necklaces to sell. When I say whipped up what I really mean is ate chocolate and chatted while doing damage to our thumbs. Evidence below:

I always find it supremely rewarding when people's practical gifting can be used to bring real and meaningful difference to other people. We spent just below $50 and will possibly make nearly $200 for the cause. That's a good return on a blistered thumb in my books.

It's a little thing/philosophy of mine that rather than thinking we can't make a difference perhaps we could all just start with what talents we have and see how those pan out for us.

love you more than spending frenzy at a charity event xxx

Learning Together - Screen Time

Hello mamas (and papas?),

It's been a while since I've shared one of these posts. Recently I've been thinking about our screen time policy. For those who don't know me personally I'm very strict about screen time. We had a fairly strong 'no screens before 2' kind of thing and after that very limited screen time. I know we fall well outside the 'norm' when it comes to access and time on screens and we are happy with our family approach.

Like any family we have considered reasons around how and why we decide on how much time is spent looking at a screen and I'm sharing our system in the hope it might work for other families even if they have different amounts of time allowances/access.

I do have one son in particular who loves technology and I tend to have a default no setting generally but I want the boys to have some access and I also want to teach them about managing their own timetables as they get older. (They are currently 6.5 and 9).

So we have decided to use a voucher system. The boys will both get a collection of 10 minute tickets weekly. They will then have autonomy, within reason, about how they use these over the course of a week. This will include all screens - Wii time, iPad, Computer and TV/DVD.

There will be some exceptions if we decide to watch a family movie that won't count, weekly family check-in on the Wii doesn't count either. At least 20 minutes have to be spent on an educational thing like study ladder or maths games etc.

The boys are so excited about the new system and it has a number of benefits for us:

• no nagging - the boys don't have to ask and hope every day that maybe I will say yes
• time management - how will you spend your time, how does it feel when you use it all up on one day? do you like a little every day? 
• motivation - if jobs are done quickly there may be time for some screen
• responsibility - they will need to be responsible for using the vouchers and telling me
• time concepts - especially for the little one how much is 10 minutes, how many minutes in an hour etc
• sharing - we will allow them to pool time to use technology together for some things, if they want to
• anticipation - for my oldest especially knowing he will get some screen time and being able to look forward to it and anticipate it will make him feel very happy
• clear boundaries - I find this takes stress out of things - we all know what the rules are and we all feel happy because everyone is getting what they want

I know this isn't a learning/homework thing but I hope it gives some ideas and I know there are skills that the boys will get out of this. 

In terms of management I am going to print and laminate the tickets and they will get given them each week at pocket money time. As they spend them they will go into a box - unused ones will go on a magnetic clip on the fridge. At the end of the week empty and repeat! 

Learning Together a series for primary aged children and their parents - activities that break up homework monotony, promote skills and create positive experiences together.

How do you manage screen time in your house?

love you more than laminated tickets xxx

Yeah I Made It.... 24/52 Weaving

Life and health lovelies,

Last week I had the joy of attending a 2 hour weaving workshop as part of reconciliation week here in Australia. Three beautiful women came and taught us traditional style basket weaving with contemporary (raffia - I do remember raffia from the 80s!) material.

I started this little basket - it sits in my palm - and finished it when I got home.

I love it.

I may be on a basket making craze now. You may receive one for Christmas.

love you more than pop-pink and acid green xxxx

Furniture - Kind Of

So our new place is unfurnished - hoorah which means we get to furnish....

whilst I do like a good house and garden (actually just the house bit) magazine I also don't want to spend all our income on furniture.

Also I really want to buy as much second hand or re-use as much as possible when it comes to making accumulation decisions.

The boys are in quite a small room with very large wardrobes which is kind of pointless seeing as they don't own anything that hangs up and the only ironing that gets done in our house is every morning when The Atlas irons his shirt for the day....

So when it came to draws I wanted to use the wardrobe space instead of the floor space in their room.

Enter a cheap set of put it together yourself shelving from Bunnings, but I knew that would still end up in rather a mess so rather than purchase a whole lot of plastic boxes we just used the boxes we moved with. I taped them up again and cut them in half using a kitchen knife. (yes I am that blatant in my disregard for doing things carefully).

Then we let the boys decorate them and for the in-between space (because we couldn't fit 3 across) we used those soft but not too soft reusable supermarket bags.

For a grand price of about $15 and some awesome reusing (even if I do say it myself) we have their draws sorted. The Atlas also has the same shelves in half our wardrobe for his clothes.

So easy, so cheap and so recycly. Don't you think?

love you more than extra money to spend on the furniture that counts xxx

Yeah I Made It - laundry liquid 3/52

This isn't a tricky (or impressive make) but I wanted to share it because I've just got back into it and it's so simple I think some of you might like to make it.

When we were in NZ I made our bench spray, laundry liquid and dishwasher powder but here in Aus last year I dropped the ball. In our new place we don't have a dishwasher so I don't need to think about that but I have been meaning to get back into making laundry liquid.

If you haven't done it before or considered it here are my top reasons:
1. Cheap - it is so economical to make your own I would say less than $2-3 for 56 washes

2. Quick and Easy - I know that sometimes these 'make your own' routes or cloth nappies or whatever can seem very time consuming for output but this is literally a 10 minute make and for me it means more than 10 weeks worth of washing. I can manage 10 minutes 5 times in a year.

3. Easy to get the stuff - sometimes I want to make some cleaning products/soaps etc but they have ingredients that are hard to find. All the things you need for this will be at your local supermarket (unless it's completely rubbish!).

4. Environmentally better - the ingredients in this are very simple and few which means less impact on the environment. I'm pretty sure (but you should check) that all are fine for grey water systems too.

So there it is :o) Are you convinced?

The recipe I use is Wendyl Nissen's one and she has a heap of wonderful recipes on her site if you want to make more of your own products or buy her ready made ones in NZ. 

Here it is:

• ½ bar  Sunlight soap, grated
• 1.5 litres of water
• ½ cup washing soda
• 50 g borax (a scant 1/4 c)
• 6 litres hot water - hot from the tap is fine

1. Place grated soap in a saucepan with the first quantity of water and heat on low until soap is dissolved. I stir while I'm doing this but it doesn't take long at all. Stir in washing soda and borax. 
2. Stir for a few minutes until thickened and remove from heat. 
3.  Add 1 litre of hot water to a bucket. Add soap mixture and mix well. 
4. Fill bucket with another 5 litres of hot water and mix well. I use a large lidded bucket and leave it in this but you can also transfer it to empty milk bottles or the like.
5. Add about 20 drops of essential oil like lavender or eucalyptus. Use 1/2c per wash

This makes enough for about 56 washes so it goes for ages. It is kind of gluggy but it leaves no powdery marks on your clothes and should be fine if you just give it a stir now and again.

* Sunlight soap comes in a box of 5 for a few dollars and is in the laundry section - as is washing soda. You can also use sunlight soap on laundry stains.

Do you make any of your own cleaners? Would you?

love you more than feeling virtuous! xxx

Do You Ever Think About...

how we hold super fit, muscly people up as if their example is something we should all aspire to

...and yet

we don't seem to do the same with people who have amazing character?


yes, fitness comes with hard work

but I think character requires much more difficult work, more tears, more opening up to hidden places and disappointments, more peeling back layers of hurt and forgiving ourselves and others,

more realising that we aren't there yet
more grace given to others that aren't there either
more self-denial than avoiding a second serving
more grit and determination than press-ups and sprints.

Is it because we can't 'see' character? or

Is it because we place more value on what we see?

I'd like to be fit and muscly but I'd like to have character more. Somehow I think character will see me healthy through more years than muscles. But there are days when I care more about the outward and less about the inward.

Do you find that too?

My values say character is more important but my behaviour and thoughts don't always reflect that.

If I asked myself what I am doing to build a healthy fit body I could answer that in an instant.

If I asked myself what I am doing to build enduring character that would take so much more thought. I wish that weren't true but it is.

What do you do to build an inspiring, buff character?

love you more than stopping to ask myself hard questions xxx

in my neighbourhood - an oxfam Easter

So, committing to no child labour chocolate for Easter is great on paper but kind of tricky in real life, right? I mean the shops are full of those huge bags of mini chocolate eggs that taste suspiciously like plastic and doing a fair trade chocolate bar search for Easter lacks a certain feeling too.

So Oxfam here (and I suspect Trade Aid) in NZ has actual eggs! Whooo-hoo. Yes they are more expensive than the plastic tasting ones you will buy at The Warehouse or Kmart or wherever you might buy eggs, but that means the people who made them got paid properly and the cocoa will have also been farmed in a sustainable fashion, and they have been made from actual ingredients. Also (which is a bonus for people like me who can be easily blinded by bargains, into buying more) I will buy less and think carefully about my choices.

Today I bought these (on special, see bargains above), which are a cool set of 6 hollow eggs and arrows so you can plan a hunt for someone. I'll get the boys to make them for each other.

and I will probably buy one of the paper mache rabbits (even though I prefer chicks, who at least lay eggs) with chocolate buttons in them. After that an egg for The Atlas and maybe some little eggs. Really my boys are only ever allowed one egg or 2 on the day and then the rest go away and we forget about them.

Truly - ask my sisters how many kgs of half eaten bags of lollies, lolly pops, mini eggs, chocolate coins,.... I gave away when I went through my pantry - it was embarrassing!!

... so this Easter if you are wanting to make fair and kind choices check out your local (or online Oxfam or Trade Aid) and buy less plastic chocolate and a couple of really nice eggs instead. If you want to do an egg hunt how about making some felt eggs or similar and just a couple of choccies?

Or buy a fair trade block of chocolate - Whittakers Dark Ghana can be quite reasonable if it's on special at the supermarket (it's hard to find here :o( ) and make some of your own.

I'm going to do a whole post about the lovely Oxfam shop here at some point but for now check out their Easter loveliness.

love you more than an egg hunt followed by home made hot cross buns xxx

Attached to Stuff?

Right, I think this is going to be a whingy post... buckle up folks. (Oh, and don't take me too seriously, okay - I never do, in about half an hour I'll be totally over this feeling - truly!).

It's difficult for me to live simply and not have stuff, because I like stuff. I'm currently going through my craft room (which is the most wonderful little space in my world) and it feels like ripping off one plaster after another (and that's only one shelf!).

Some people love throwing things out (I know this because I am related to about 3 of them) but for me it just feels like a chore and I so want all these little treasures to go to someone else who will appreciate them like I do.

... but I don't want to force all my stuff onto another person who doesn't want it...

and I know it will be almost impossible for me to give this stuff away without telling all the stories that go with each piece: where they came from, what I planned to do with them, what they could do with them... and then I feel like I'm trying to convince someone to love something just because I do - I don't like that feeling.

So, shall I just take it all to school and hope some other crafty mamas are stoked or invite everyone over and get them to just grab stuff???

What's the best way to get this stuff to people who will be stoked to have it - mainly, selfishly, because I feel better about setting something free if someone else is thrilled to have it?

and I still have all this to sort and the draws, shelves, half-done projects..... and that's just the craft room!

so, yeah a little over-tired, over-cleaning and over having to shake off all the excess junk in my life.

love you more than the self-control to go to bed early, clearly! xxx

We Recommend - Making A Difference

Sometimes it all becomes a little overwhelming this Christmas shopping and want, want, want and should have, must have culture.

When you feel like the person on the other end of your gift isn't really fussed here or there about the gift, or when they own everything they need and want, or when the thought of having to come up with one more idea is one idea too many....

how about a gift that changes someone else?

A few different places do these kind of gifts and I like the idea of matching a person up to a passion.
child fund, tear fund, world vision, oxfam, save the children - are all easy choices

A gift of 3 orchard trees for an avid gardener and giver of their own produce

school supplies for the person who believes in learning

a malaria net for the constant hypochondriac in your life (perhaps don't tell them I said that, but hey let's provide a solution for someone who actually needs one!).

Want to do something closer to home? How about a magazine subscription for their local SPCA, Doctor, Hairdresser (somewhere else they spend a lot of time waiting), give it on their behalf and they are instantly client of the year.

New books for a local school library (check if they have a wishlist) with a 'donated by' card in the front.

A lovely soap for them and a set for the local shelter or city mission.

A cake on their behalf to road-workers, charity shop workers, cancer society, fire fighters, the police....

but don't leave it at the gesture  get your kids to draw a picture of the recipient and how it makes them feel,

and tell them why you did it,

a card that says
' I wanted to make an impact this Christmas the way you impact me. Maybe you don't realise that I'm watching but I am. Because of your generous, thoughtful, kind (insert appropriate descriptor here) nature I wanted to pay that same thing forward. In your name I have ....... because I love you, because you inspire me, because you change the world.'

How could that not cheer someone on Christmas day?

Do you do 'make a difference' styles of pressies'?

We Recommend for Christmas 

our posts about genuinely lovely things

Thanks for your recommendations. Button code on the right.

Love you more than a newborn chick xxx

You also have time to enter for the size 4, size 10(kids) or unicorn transfers if you want to.

B.M.W.B - Saying it With Chalk

I like the thought that we share ourselves with the world and that we choose what kind of message that is.

I want the boys to grow up with a sense of being bringers of joy.

So we took our chalk (which we often use to decorate the driveway) out onto our street. I didn't give the boys much direction we just spoke about bringing joy to people and giving them something to smile about.

Some of the things were rather entertaining, along with the spelling.

We enjoyed ourselves.

A neighbour stopped, we chatted. The boys made sure everyone knew where we lived and where they could get chalk if they wanted it.... I guess none of us are very good at secrecy!

Becoming the Mama I want to be is about taking time to enjoy the journey of parenting, to honour it's value and to hopefully inspire and encourage each other. 

Simple. Achievable. Intentional: becoming the mama I want to be

Button code on the right if you want it

Love you more than a box of new chalk xxxx

People I Admire

This Saturday a group of very talented professional artists (musical artists) are giving their time freely to support The Family Help Trust.

Family Help Trust are a group committed to the children of NZ who are at high risk.

On Saturday afternoon you have the opportunity to hear these people and support F.H.T. at the same time.

CONCERT DETAILS

Saturday, 19th October, 2013 at 1pm

Venue - CPSA, 60 Madras St, Christchurch

Admission fees: $20

You can purchase tickets here.

(booking fee applies)

   

Door sales cash only

I so admire people who give of themselves generously. As I see it - we all have something to offer that can make the world a better place but some of us never do because:

a - we think our offering can't make change (we think change makers are rich or have powerful positions)
b - we are too busy (we don't take time to think about how, or worse, we are self-absorbed)
c - we don't know how (where do I start? what can I do with my talent for Words? Kindness? Time?)

All around me I observe people, 'ordinary' people offering their gift to the world in great-small ways.

Maybe this Saturday afternoon your gift to the world might be going to an amazing concert.
Maybe it might be ordering a CD.
Maybe it might be letting a harassed person have that car park you both spotted, even though you really want it.
Maybe it might be baking for a friend
or reading stories at kindy
or really praying for someone when you said you would.....

Today I am grateful for people - like my sister and brother-in-law - who don't just wish the world was a better place, they are offering what they have to make change. I'm grateful for people who do the good stuff of life and inspire me to do it too.

Love you more than a song that inspires xxx

What Really Matters

When you read about a child intentionally starved and abused by parents it all gains a little perspective don't you think? (that, and it makes you breathless with grief for that little precious person so let down by the people around them....oh, let that never be us who don't dig deep enough for someone vulnerable)

so this week I am grateful for growing up loved, for not being abused, for food on the table and in the cupboards and for my beautiful little boys who have no concept of being denied food (except the odd biscuit when they've already had 2!)

I'm grateful for the love I get to express to them daily

for the huge delight of sharing life with people who are loving

for knowing that my boys have never been intentionally hurt by someone

boys who have no concept or framework for abuse

and I feel especially upset about children who are currently let down by people supposed to love them and let down by people who won't ask the hard questions and speak up

and I feel especially challenged to open up my life, to invest in a world where we get brave about asking the hard questions, and passionate about loving and serving the little ones

I'm not providing a link to the article I read - honestly I'm so upset I don't want to make others read it too. It was on the front section of the international part of the paper today if you want to go hunting and I'm sure it will be all over the internet too.

B.M.W.B - Making A Fuss

In November this year wee Bounce will be starting school. I have 8 months of him all to myself during the week.

So we've taken his kindy down to 2 days and on the other days I am planning to enjoy every moment with him.

So this week I've been about making a fuss of him. Doing the things we love to do together. Sitting in a bean bag at the library together reading for an hour.

Taking films of him singing.

Baking

Taking photos of him just because he is gorgeous.

Taking trips to the library on scooters and bikes

I love this boy so much and this week I've been doing my best to try and communicate that to him in lots of ways.

The Atlas has been home this week recovering after his surgery and he's just the best at making the boys feel important.

Please have a look back at last weeks linkies there are some inspiring reads and some wonderful ideas. :O)

Becoming the Mama I want to be is about taking time to enjoy the journey of parenting, to honour it's value and to hopefully inspire and encourage each other. 

Simple. Achievable. Intentional: becoming the mama I want to be

I look forward to seeing your linkies this week. The code for the button is just on the right ------------>